Alice (and Andy)
Ron and Kay (online)
Kevin and Kath (online)
marriage and I credit her with all our success.
After I sold my newspaper in 2005, and bought a 1974 Carver
28-foot Mariner, she liked the idea of being able to keep everything
onboard, instead of having to load and unload a ski boat with gear
every time we got home. Then we bought a 1969 38-foot Hatteras
tri-cabin that Jill thought we’d like when our children and grandchildren visited us, but it was too big.
Our next boat was a 26-foot Invader, great to zip out to Delta
restaurants and easy to dock, but it had one sin. If there were more
than two of us in the boat, I had to send Jill up front to be the ballast
to make it plane. Not many wives will consent to being the ballast for
long, so you know what killed that boat!
Two years ago we traded in for the Bayliner, my favorite boat
of the seven we’ve owned. Several times since the downturn in the
economy, I’ve suggested we sell the boat to save the monthly slip fee.
But Jill knows boating is part of my DNA and always says, “But what
would you do without your man cave? Bug me? Let’s keep the boat.”
— Gene and Jill Beley
THE 50/50 VISION
Photo (right) by Neal Rabinowitz; ALL OTHERS COURTESY OF AUTHORS.
We’ve cruised for 33 summers in the Pacific Northwest beginning
with two children still in diapers, and now four grandchildren, and
we’ve learned a great deal about sailing as a couple. We live in a
community-property state, so the boat belongs equally to both of
us. That being said, we also both contributed to the purchase of
the vessel, so either way, it’s a 50/50 deal. When I come up with a
bright idea about going somewhere that Lyn doesn’t agree with, she
simply says, “My half of the boat isn’t going there.” It’s a message
that makes us both smile, but the point is, we do have to agree or
we don’t leave the dock or weigh anchor.
I cannot count the number of times we’ve seen a couple anchoring with a 200-pound-plus man staying at the controls, moving
little hydraulic levers, while his 90- to 100-pound partner is out on
the bow handling the anchor and chain. It’s truly an unfortunate
example of macho. Lyn is quite capable of moving from forward to
neutral to reverse and back again. I lower the anchor and manage
the release of the chain. Early on, we agreed on hand signals so there
would be no talking or yelling in the anchorage, very important if
the vessel has a dodger or windscreen. We use a simple system: one
OCTOBER | NOVEMBER 2011
finger up for forward, two for neutral, and three for reverse. We have
a quick discussion in the cockpit before I go forward to choose the
area of the drop, so that once I’m on the bow, all that is left is the set.
From the very beginning of our boating lives together, Lyn has
been a partner. We always shared the helm. Involve your partner
completely and they just may fall in love with boating as much as
you have. Then looking forward to time onboard will be a desire and
pleasure for both of you. — Roger and Lyn Pawley
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